At A Loss For Words

Since when was it acceptable to take the life of another? People are here one day and gone the next. I am disgusted at the rate at which black people die from gunshots, drugs and the like. You know what, not even black people. Just people in general. Yes, death is just another part of life, but what if you still have living to do? Goals to accomplish? Everything stops in death :( 


I'm talking about a friend of mine who just died from being shot recently. He was around the same age as me. He worked at Home Depot (last I checked) and was planning to go back to school. I heard some stories.....but I don't think it will matter to me to know the truth. I didn't know him that well. Regardless of that fact, it's still sad to me to see someone like that on his way out of Earth and into Heaven. I thought about him all day....so I foreshadowed this week not going well....at all. 


I just need to find some optimism I suppose. And to hope for the best. A new semester awaits me. Chemistry, Algebra, Psychology and English all await me. I just have to hope for the best. I want to attend the funeral.....I hope this doesn't become another funeral I regret going to..... :( I am trying my best not to be stressed right now. But I guess I'll just deal with it. I'm just sad and tired of black men leaving the earth when they should stay around a little longer. That's all. So that's my blog for the night. I couldn't even think I could find the means to write today, but I'm glad I did at the end of the day. 

In Retrospect....Straight Off The Dome

Maybe I'll never be up on your level.
Maybe I'm still aching to scratch your limitless surface.
Maybe I'll be outwitted every time by your arrogance.
Maybe I'll jut be taunted to give up at every waking moment.


Maybe I won't be all I've dreamed to be because of you. 
This much is true: you are opposition
A representation of the odds stacked against me 
a perfect tower with no shortcut 
a facade....of my imagination


Maybe it's not as bad as I make it
Maybe I should try and focus on me 
Maybe I have yet to realize my potential
and suddenly the maybes stop.


I realize, in retrospect I have overcome much 
I have much to represent 
I have goals to meet, ambitions to inspire others with
I have this life to live as well.


Maybe I'll be better than I could have ever imagined.......

The New Year is Here! ...along with some events...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!

The new year is finally here! 2010....wow....I never thought I would be in this right frame of mind after a decade of ups, down, becoming an adult...and everyone thought the Y2K bug was gonna bite us all lol. But it's always always always important to remember the fallen, because not everyone has made it to 2010 unfortunately :( someone was here yesterday that isn't here today. :(

In retrospect, 2009 has truly been a year of transition for me. When I remember it, I started 2009 as a college freshman entering concert band. It was time to prepare for the President's Inauguration!!! I SAW THE PRESIDENT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES!! LOL it was sooo worth the cold...cuz Lord knows it was CHILLY that day!!!! But I loved every moment marching :)

 I finished the year at Hampton before they figured I was beneath them, shipping me out knowing full DAMN well there were people doing WORSE than me.......WTF............

I still don't understand why they dismissed me like that.......but I can't say I did the best I could do either...I did get sick a LOT....they didn't help much.....guess it just wasn't meant to be....to be honest they were beyond greedy and tuition is STILL steep. They would rather make sure your money is tight before.....pretty much anything else. 

After I left Hampton, a multitude of people tried to help me get back.....but my parents had other plans...and slowly they turned me away from Hampton and more realisitic options...my mind was 

going along with my parents, but my heart wanted to stay in Hampton. And as time passed I realized that I couldn't afford Hampton even if I tried. My dude Jamarr supports the claim that if you don't have the money, then maybe it ain't right to go back (not his exact words lol). 

But all is not lost. I'm trying to make a move during summer 2010. :D

Ok so I came back to CT in May since there was a shooting on campus :( I subsequently missed MEAC and graduation. Then the summer came. I went on an unforgettable cruise for the first time and it was amazing! I visited Key West, Cozumel, Mexico and Belize City. It was AMAZING! :D And I am so convinced that I just want to buy a house in Key West and just CHILLLLL for the rest of my life lol :)

So after vacation it was time for school. There was a girl who put in her status that I don't belong in a community college. Probably should've went there before Hampton. :( But I finished the year with 2 A's and 2 B's. So now I'm at 3.2 :D It took a while to get there but I made it! My birthday was sooo much fun too! [Dec. 30th-A BIG day] Ginza Japanese Cuisine, then Super Mario Bros., then Avatar! :D

And now the new year is upon us! Time to do it better than before!! Time to let go of the insecurities that have held you down since...whenever! Time to start anew :D Hope you can find it within you to do the same. Yeah :D