Out of the Loop

I am not at the place I should be.


Such a deeper meaning behind those words...for me at this point


The friends I've made....were some of them worth keeping? And what about the bonds I've created? Did they mean nothing then? Do they mean anything now...?


Eh, I guess it just can't be helped sometimes. I feel like the loner. And sometimes I embrace that facet of me too often. You might call it being introvert. 


I'm also beginning to think I'm a damn insomniac now...smhhhhhh..I mean, it was usually 3 for my bedtime at HU, but now that I'm home you'd think my habits of that stupidity would cease, but FUCKKKKK...they haven't :( 


I just am in contemplation mode since I can't fucking sleep and lowkey...I think it has been affecting me in a negative way overall.....eh...when I wake up I'll be excited for Christmas and shit...lmaooooo =) 


...so after rereading this, I conclude that I can flip my own damn frown upside down lmao. Can you give yourself the pat on the back when it's time to? 

Good Morning!

It's 7:21 A.M. as I'm typing this. My body didn't want to fall asleep, it turns out. I'm surprised my eyes aren't bleeding to be honest =/


(sigh) I'm just glad for another day of life, health and strength. And Christmas is right around the corner. Yay. I have no plans for my birthday even though I'll probably be working...but I would always like to do something for my b-day.....on a day off....smh


It's cool tho I'm making money. Dollar dollar bills ya'll :D lol


My mind just suddenly went blank. I can see the sunrise from my window. I think I'll partake in some hot chocolate if this house holds any. I need something to warm me up since it's so freaking cold....


And now my random thought of the morning (as if the other stuff wasn't random already..lol) are you on the pursuit of happiness? Does it only come through material things? Are you longing to cling onto something more, something definition, appeal...something real?


It seems as though the intellectual are sitting back watching the stupid people falter countless times.


However, the intellectual will continuously be on the search for more knowledge.


I don't consider myself better than anyone because we ALL have faults, flaws. We also all have something that sets us apart from the crowd, whether we have discovered it or not.


But whatever you find in life worth fighting for, chase it earnestly and not lustfully. And as the events of my day start to unravel, I hope you find a moment's peace somewhere :)

Love

Love. Some people love it. Some people loathe it. Some people are lucky to find it. Some people wish it never happened to them. Nowadays people can't seem to want to keep it-too obsessed with money, clothes-material things. Lust ensues when the heart grows too fond, just bypassing over the cold feet, the first kiss, the memory of the first dinner-all that mushy stuff. Now it seems like love and lust are as interchangeable as the batteries in my remote control. Once the electric current dies, they must be replaced without hesitation or all chaos will ensue. And the cycle never ends does it? It goes subconsciously insatiate, as people are always looking for that new thrill to keep their sex lives occupied. At least, in most cases, it's not counterproductive. But PAUSE for a moment. Children are a big responsibility that it seems most people are not married-I mean, ready for those responsibilities. But how can this change? The simple answer is it won't anytime soon unfortunately......single ladies turn into single mothers, low down dirty men perfect their low down dirty ways, messing it up for not only the goal-oriented female, but the good dude calculating each move, coming correctly...or missing his opportunity to do so. Yes, this game of love is one of interest. And you better get your shit together before you play. Straight up.