Few Late Night Thoughts....about the L word

Love. 
What does it mean? 
You think you know the definition......until it manifests into something completely different.
You swear your own two will be sufficient enough....until you stumble.
It's just one of those things you can't be coy about. 
Yet it's blatantly obvious as displayed by the media.
People throw it all around on the basis of following your heart.
People claim to know what it is......but they are clueless.
As am I.

I once thought I could fathom the opportunities of love and all it had to offer.....
but it turned out.....I was wobbly like a child's first steps
Embarrassingly enough, I fell on my face.
Worse than that, I left some feelings suspended in the air.....putting them on hold, hoping they would go away....but they didn't....and they won't. 
Contemplating and wading through them won't make them go away..... 
but there's something missing. 
The change. Me.
I'm no longer considering the same options anymore. 
Someone once told me life is to be enjoyed.........and I've embraced it.
I've gotten more options out of it. I've become better for it.
Now.....back to love.............

Now I have all the answers, right?
WRONG.
I wake up, I realize I'm here by the grace of God, I go about my day, and then it hits me.......this lingering problem....my personal dark cloud. It still exists, possibly manifesting into something I can't.....handle? 

Weakness............taboo. You don't EVER mention it.........

Now, the climax. I must face this thing called love head on. Feelings will be hurt, but the complacency still remains. Love, you've given me a big challenge. I need to push myself further....further into uncertainty....further into faith...further into the truth. 


So here's to loving with no limits. Love until it hurts. And hope to God you can handle it better than I can. 


Sincerely, R.S.

Not so bad.....

Ahhh Prose Moment!: Sometimes I feel I'm losing myself in my work and anticipating the oncoming stress of my life sooner than humanly possible. Is it because of my responsibility to the world? Is it because I can't go unchecked...or overlooked? It's better if I don't live and better if I can't love.....I'll wipe my tears away, I'll be ok, I'll stand strong and move on. Misery don't live here no more! But neither does my sanity. So now what? The world is closing in on me, and no one can help me. No one. Solitary confinement. 


(I like this. lol Facebook moment. Let's see how far I can "take this".....ehehe....


-Ronald S. 

Team Capricorn

So I've been reading some stuff about my sign (December 30 = Capricorn) and I noticed that I'm pretty much a Capricorn to the T. I just wanted to point out some things about it that apply to me :) 


1. The Capricorn man is motivated by his desire for success, money, status, and love (although love is usually last and least important on his list.) <--About love tho.........hmmm.....


2. The Capricorn man pursues his goals with a steady, unwavering determination. <--I try :) 


3. The Capricorn man is cautious in all he does. He won't start projects and adventures (when he has them) without thorough investigation and contemplation. He needs to have the security of knowing (or at least thinking) that his decisions will work out with the least risk to him. <--I mean, I don't obsess over it, I just make sure I'm content with the situation first.... :)


4. Security is the lifetime search for the Capricorn man; and he wants to find it in all aspects of his life. :) 


5. Capricorn is a loner sign and emotional relationships are a challenge for this man. He doesn't find it easy to place trust in another human being or share his feelings. Although Capricorn men appear cold on the outside, he really is a sensitive, loving person; he's just masked his feelings and emotions well for his own need for security. <---I did find it hard to trust people for a large portion of my life, but now it's a little bit easier to know who to trust and who not to trust. I'm surprised when I actually realize I have the capability to trust :) &&& I am one that will mask my intentions until...well....see #3 lol


Just wanna squeeze one more in there: If you want to impress a Capricorn man take it slowly and be ready for slow reactions from him; he'll have to contemplate everything before he makes his move. Once he's comfortable you'll discover a warm, sensitive, and compassionate man – it will be well worth the wait. CHEA. lol :) 

Yea buddy! #TeamCapricorn to the FULLEST! 


Hope this inspires you to get in touch with your sign :) lol

Loved and Lost

Ok! Here's some stuff I gotta get off my chest. Here we.....go.


Love is, and forever will be, a powerful word only chosen for those who choose it. For me, it's been an interesting journey as I'm now battling between two personas........the perplexing mentality of a similar contradiction, and the dis-interesting rumor-bitten traveler-both deemed clandestine. Mind you, I used to have a thing for both, but now it's getting to the point where I want to move on and find someone new. But they're making it hard, of course. Let's start with the contradiction. The contradiction is between beliefs and actions, but it runs deeper than that. The physical doesn't match the mental-at all. Problematic. And, somewhere in there I became unhappy during the moment I was supposed to be at the pinnacle of love. I got refused. Huh? But now I realize I was too hasty in this. That's how this situation came to be. My own hastiness. I can feel the laughter of being had. I also feel myself glaring back at it. Now, onto the traveler. It's interesting to say the least. Comes and goes, tries to stay relevant, but can't due to the time and space created for other pursuits that should be the priority instead of how I've been every opportunity you speak to me..........but the reason for this hookup was purely physical. Every moment was created to make me think of the many possibilities this could go..........but the mental part concerns me. Now, people will always seem to be more than the rumors, but I heard something I wished I never heard. Blatant flamboyancy? Instant turn-off. 


I'll say this though. I know EXACTLY what I'm looking for now that experience has taken over as the teacher. You have to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and intuitively. You have to love yourself before you can love me. You must devote your time and energy to try and appreciate what I have. You won't worry about me not doing the same. Just help me understand what it will take and a new goal will be created. Go ahead, put up Mount Everest lol. I'll grab an oxygen mask, some munchies and be on my way up. XD 

Music Stop

  Ok here's some music (albums and songs) I'm currently listening to and vibing off of =)

 

 

                       

1. The ArchAndroid - Janelle Monáe Ok first of all....I love Janelle Monáe! From start to finish, I thoroughly enjoy her musical insight and seemingly ingenious melodies. This is definitely one of those play from Track 1 to Track 17 CDs! lol. But all jokes aside, Diddy may be onto something...like the antidote of the Diddy curse. But only time will tell. The first 7 tracks or so give an easy listening session into the world of Metropolis where dreams need to be followed and lovers are within your reach. The other 11 songs tap deep into musical emotion not soon to be forgotten. Don't forget to express yourself and dance your ass off. Janelle loves the music she's created and so have I =)

2. B.o.B-B.o.B Presents: The Adventures of Bobby Ray Bobby Ray, a cool guy from Atlanta creates a pretty darn good rap album in a medium where rap is questioned. But one thing is clear-Bobby Ray solidifies himself as what's next. Like a second coming, him and a whole bunch of talented, No Souljah Boy bullshit rappers are starting to step up and show us what rap is all about. And I welcome them. The fight for anarchy will be a hard one, but B.o.B's lifelong mileage seems to be on par with what the game's been missing. 

3. Sade-Soldier of Love Speaking of resurgence of a certain genre, the entity known as Sade emerges with her timeless balladry to once again grace our hearts and make us think about the pleasures and difficulties of life. Redefining soul with her powerful medium and longtime enduring band, she simply cannot go unmissed, overlooked or tossed aside. She proves that productivity simply cannot define a career of lifelong music.

4. Erykah Badu-New Amerykah Part Two: Return of the Ankh She returns like an old griot climbing up a waterfall by herself. Ok that was bad. She redefines soul as only she can in a mission to eradicate "Groupthink". And she only needs the bare essentials as she strips down to perfection to portray her message. And with no regrets, she takes her music and exemplifies her model of womanhood and melodies sent from above. Seemingly heading up the definition soul, old fans and new ones alike should like her new work.

5. Alicia Keys-Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready) I really can't even stress enough how much I love this song! It's just one of those songs that you can listen to repeatedly and just be in tune with! And the video Alicia has paired with this song really shows the message that love knows no bounds-at all-point blank period. The Element of Freedom overall shows Alicia's natural ability to capture internal strength within the notes of a piano and portray her version of love and hope for the future.

6. La Roux-Bulletproof Ah, the British wave of electropop music has crossed over onto my television where I first saw this video lol onto my iPod! I love La Roux-she gives me life in a whole new way that my brain couldn't even fathom lol =) I guess that's what happens when you let yourself become open to different types of music! Bulletproof is my official walking song. Whenever I'm walking, this song is playing non-stop. True talk. So take a listen and let her tell you not to be swayed by futile emotions. 

Ok! That about does it for now. Take a listen to some of this music. Feed your brain. These have been approved by Ron. =) 

Eye Catchers - Ed Hardy

So my attention is stuck on Ed Hardy and his designs! They are attractive and expensive AS HELL!!! Even the sales aren't even.....well...sales. At least not to me :(


I still think that the dude is making money regardless though if you're able to sell your stuff at a high price like that. So more power to you sir. 


Maybe one day when I suddenly become ballin' out of control I'll buy a shirt. Just to say, HA. I got one. LMAO =) 

In the meantime, I can only gaze from afar. So here are some designs I found and sorta liked. 

 

Like I said, maybe one day I'll own some nice threads. Guess this is a lesson.....appreciate what you do have, while not restricting yourself to all life has to offer. 

 I saw this shirt earlier, but I can't find it now. Aw crap. #FAIL lol. 

Alright, I'm done. Hope u enjoyed the select designs. If you buy one (or something from this vast collection), let me know if they're at least comfortable to wear :P

I Better Find Yo Lovin'......

Self-explanatory, right? Not exactly....especially after watching this video. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyv4Bjja8yc


Interesting.